Gollum says
by Michi-chan2
Summary: The greatest story ever told...by a slim ball
1. Default Chapter

1 Disclaimer: Characters not mine blah blah blah  
  
2 Gollum says  
  
Day: ?  
  
Today my cousin found a pretty ringsssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Then I killed him and stole the pretty ringsssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??  
  
Got kicked out of granny's for being evil and twisted (don't see what their problem isssssssssss) - Which was nice  
  
Day: ???  
  
Went to live under misty mountainssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Lived off Orcs and fish I strangled while they weren't looking and ate their liver with butter beans and I a nice *slup* - Which was nice  
  
Day: ????  
  
Met a nasty hobbit, played riddle game and lostssssssssssssssss – Which was……..nice?  
  
Nasty hobbit stole my ringssssssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Screamed a bitssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????  
  
Wandered about a bitsssssssssssssssssss (haven't had a holiday in agesssssssss) – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??????  
  
Got captured by some mucky human (bet he hasn't had a bath in yearsssss), bite his handssssssssssss (regretted it later YUCK) – Which was nice  
  
Day: ???????  
  
Got questioned by some stinky old cod – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????  
  
Got dumped onto some elves of some mirky wood and escaped helped by Orcsssssss (bloody nice blokes) – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????  
  
Got tortured by said Orcs (not so bloody nice blokes after all)  
  
Hobnob…………mcvitessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss  
  
Got tortured again  
  
Sssssssssshire……………………Bagginssssssssssssssssssss  
  
Got releasedssssssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??????????  
  
Met a bloody nice ssssssssssspider if not a bit homicidalssssssssssssss (but who issssssssssn't?) – Which was nice  
  
Day: ???????????  
  
Wandered about a bit moresssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????  
  
Sssssssssstill wanderingsssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????????  
  
Wandering, walked into a tree and got chased by beessssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??????????????  
  
Found a weird bunch of wackos wandering aroundssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ???????????????  
  
Followed weird bunch of wackos for no reasonssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Hit by a apple core – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????????  
  
Stole elf's shampoo and conditioner and feed it to the guardian, elf blamed dwarf, watched punch up with much amusmentssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????????????  
  
Too dark to writesssssssssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??????????????????  
  
Old cod fell off cliffsssssssss (silly) – Which was nice  
  
Day: ???????????????????  
  
Too brightssssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????????????  
  
Nearly drowned while following weird wackos, saved by random logsssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????????????????  
  
Couldn't steer log, fell down big waterfallsssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??????????????????????  
  
Swam up big waterfall with logssssssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ???????????????????????  
  
Saw two of the short wackos, followed them since I'm in the water anywaysssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????????????????  
  
Tried to strangle fat short wacko, hit me with a big wooden spoonssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????????????????????  
  
Made "friends" with short wackos, called thin short wacko mastersssssssss (yeah right) – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??????????????????????????  
  
Tried to strangle "master", faty hit me with a cooking potssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ???????????????????????????  
  
Ate lots of raw fishiessssssssss, ran out of butter beanssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????????????????????  
  
No fishiesssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????????????????????????  
  
Next lot of days too boring to mention – Which was nice  
  
Day: ??????????????????????????????  
  
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzssssssssssssssss – which was nice  
  
Day: ???????????????????????????????  
  
Damn potsssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Found wackos curled up together, I wonder if they're gayssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????????????????????????  
  
Betrayed "master" and fatso to sssssssssspidersssssssssssss – Which was nice  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
Sorry to all Sam fans, I love him really^_^  
  
Please review!!!!!!!!! 


	2. moresssssss

Day: ???????????????????????????????????  
  
Wandered about a bit, fell down a slopesssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????????????????????????????  
  
Rolled for a bitssssssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????????????????????????????????  
  
Stopped by whacking into a log (must have fallen out of my pocketssssss) – Which was nice  
  
What pocketsssss? – Which was nice  
  
Day: ???????????????????????????????????????  
  
"Master" and fatso have escaped the ssssspider (if you want ssssomething doing do it your sssselfsssss) – Which was nice  
  
Day: ????????????????????????????????????????  
  
Sssssslinked after them for a whilessssss – Which was nice  
  
Day: ?????????????????????????????????????????  
  
Had a "battle" with faty and losssstsss – Which was nice  
  
Sssslinked after them into mount doomsssss (wonder why it's called that) – Which was nice  
  
Attacked "master", bit his finger off, GOT MY PRIEOUSSSSSSS!!!! Go me!! – Which was nice  
  
Sssslipped on finger and fell to my death in molten larva (wrote this on the way downssss) – Which wasn't very nice  
  
THE END (what a loada cack that was)  
  
Loved it? Hated it? Please review…………otherwise I'll eat your liver with butter beanssssss. 0_o 


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